July Relief Society Lesson – Marriage and Family

Show video of families singing Our Father has a Family

OUR FATHER HAS A FAMILY – IT'S ME IT'S YOU ALL OTHER TOO, WE ARE HIS CHILDREN

We are going to begin this lesson by talking about the “all others too” part of that sentence. Which means we are going to talk about family history.

We all benefit from doing family history work. We learn of our ancestors, their stories, their hardships, the things they overcame and it helps us to grow and learn that we can over come. Our children feel a greater sense of belonging that ties them to us and lets them know their place in the world, our ancestors have the opportunity to partake of ordinances that allow them to progress. But the churches endeavors are directed to the need to form a welding link between the fathers and the children. And this welding link is formed by the power of the priesthood, through sacred temple ordinances we receive in behalf of our ancestors.

In the spirit world the gospel is preached to those who have died in their sins, without a knowledge of the truth, or in transgression, having rejected the prophets. They are taught faith in God, repentance from sin, vicarious baptism for the remission of sins, the gift of the Holy Ghost by laying on of hands, and all other principles of the gospel that are necessary for them to know in order to qualify themselves that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.

Many in the spirit world will embrace the gospel, however they cannot receive priesthood ordinances because they do not have physical bodies. They need to be baptized, confirmed, any priesthood ordinations done, endowments and sealings must be performed.

Lets read some scriptures

1 Corinthians 15:29

Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? Why are they then baptized for the dead?

D&C 2: 1-3

Behold, I will reveal unto you the priesthood, by the hand of Elijah the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

And he shall plant in the hearts of the children the promises made to the fathers, and the hearts of the children shall turn to their fathers.

If it were not so, the whole earth would be utterly wasted at his coming.

We know that we are eternal beings, life does not end after death. We also know that many millions of our brothers and sisters came before us and many had no opportunity to have gospel blessings, so we are here to find them, to do the work for them so that when they rise again they will have those blessings.

Our responsibilities in family history are

1. Receive the temple ordinances for ourselves and help other family members receive them too.

2. Hold a current temple recommend and attend the temple as frequently as circumstances allow

3. gather family history information so you can help you ancestors receive the blessings of the temple

We have great teachers of family history in this ward, they are fantastic resources, use them. But you can start anywhere! President Boyd K Packer said to start with a cardboard box, put in that box any information about you and your family. Add data gathered from other of your family, then learn how to input it on the family history site.

So in the box goes, birth and death certificates, public records, immigration information, all kinds of things. And if you find stories, save them!

Elder Allan Packer tells us that

Like partaking of the sacrament, attending meetings, reading the scriptures, and saying personal prayers, doing family history and temple work should be a regular part of our personal worship.

No matter your situation, you can make family history a part of your life right now. Primary children can draw a family tree and add family members. One year for Christmas I made a memory game for the little ones with family pictures and their names on it. Youth can participate in proxy baptisms. Parents and grandparents can tell their stories and continue to gather the records. If you need help with the computer end of it, ask a kid! And all of us can qualify for a recommend so that we can go to the temple and do the work for those we and others have found.

Joseph Smith said

the greatest responsibility in this world that God has laid upon us is to seek after our dead.

Now what about our progenitors? Our childrens children? How do we bind them to us? We have all the standard yet important answers, scripture study, family home evening, family prayer, taking them to church, setting a good example, but we are going to talk about something that I think may be a lot harder for some of us!

Personal Journal Keeping!

Insert moaning and groaning here! I'm terrible at this! But I do have a testimony of what blessings it can bring into the lives of the ones we love and leave behind.

I became a member of the Lewis family at age 17. When I was very young and my grandmother was around, there were family reunions and things to help us know that side of my family. But life changed and I became quite isolated from any family, then mom married dad. Now I was a member of the Lewis clan but really didn't feel that I belonged and circumstances made it difficult to belong. My dad told me stories and took me places of his youth and it was all interesting, but I still didn't feel that bond with the past, I didn't know those people.

Just after Jessica was born a cousin published the journals of Joseph Ira Earl, my fathers grandfather and some of his fathers sparse journals Sylvester Henry Earl and had them self published. The books were offered to family to purchase and dad made sure that each one of his children got one. I read this book front to back. It's full of his day to day life, floods, moves, money issues, bee keeping, childrens lives. I learned how he fought to have a school here so the kids wouldn't have to board in Vegas, I learned about the governing of the valley in the early days through the high council. He kept copies of his letters to family, friends, politicians. There is quite a discourse between him and one of his brothers regarding the dissolution of polygamy. I read of how he mourned after the death of his first wife and how he carried on with the remaining wife. I learned how his children served each other and their parents. I learned the his father Henry was in the the original wagon train with Brigham Young as they entered the Salt Lake Valley, I learned that he helped build the Pine Valley chapel.

By the time I read this book I knew who he was, I knew who his children were. I understood where they came from, how they thought, why they made certain choices. There is nothing earth shaking in this book, it's just his life! But it's an amazing thing to read these things and learn to know and love someone and to feel like you really do belong, if only through adoption. We need to do this for our children and their children.

The scriptures tell us to do it, and how to do it, so lets read some

1Nephi 1: 1-3

I, Nephi, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many afflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days' yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a record of my proceedings in my days.

Yea, I make a record in the language of my father, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians.

And I know that the re ord which I make is true; and I make it with mine own hand' and I make it according to my knowledge.

1Nephi 6: 3-6

and it mattereth not to me that I am particular to give a full account of all the tings of my father, for they cannot be written upon these plates, for I desire the room that I may write of the things of God.

For the fulness of mine intent is that I may persuade men to come unto the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, and be saved.

Wherefore, the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world.

Wherefore, I shall give commandment unto my seed, that they shall not occupy these plates with things which are not of the worth unto the children of men.

How grateful we are for Nephi and his faithful record keeping as well as his example of how to keep one.

What would have happened if Moses hadn't written the history of the world in those first five books of the Old Testament? He had the background, the data, the records and the desire and his writings will bless us for eternity, even if half the world doesn't currently believe it!

Abraham wrote his own life story, his revelations, thoughts feelings and experiences.

Joseph Smith wrote the history of the restoration of the gospel and his own personal experiences in great detail. Can you imagine the mass of confusion we would have without those authentic, personal, carefully written records!

So when we don't write as we should we have a little chastisement!

Lets read 3Nephi 23:6-13

And now it came to pass that when Jesus had said these words he said unto them again, after he had expounded all the scriptures unto them which they had received, he said unto them: Behold, other scriptures I would that ye should write, that ye have not.

And it came to pass that he said unto Nephi: Bring forth the record which ye have kept.

And when Nephi had brought forth the records, and laid them before him, he cast his eyes upon them and said:

Verily I say unto you, I commanded my servant Samuel, the Lamanite, that he should testify unto this people, that at the day that the Father should glorify his name in me that there were many saints who should arise from the dead, and should appear unto many, and should minister unto them. And he said unto them: Was it not so?

And his disciples answered him and said: Yea, Lord, Samuel did prophesy according to they words, and they were all fulfilled.

And Jesus said unto them: How be it that ye have not written this things, that many saints did arise and appear unto many and did minister unto them?

And it came to pass that Nephi remembered that this thing had not been written.

And it came to pass that Jesus commanded that it should be written; therefore it was written according as he commanded.

So what do we write?

Record the way you face up to challenges

experiences of work

relationships with people

an awareness of right and wrong actions and how to make those choices

what did you learn from difficulties and struggles

what is success, how are you successful, how did you become that way

repentance, forgiveness

what is important to you

you should tell the truth! Don't make yourself up for a great performance, be yourself

dont dwell on the negative, learn and move on

Elder Allan Packer says

your journal is your autobiography, so it should be kept carefully. You are unique, and there may be incidents in your experience that are more noble and praiseworthy in their way than those recorded in any other life. There may be a flash of illumination here and a story of faithfulness there; you should truthfully record your real self and not what other people may see in you.

What could you do better for your children and your children's children than to record the story of your life,your triumphs over adversity, your recovery after a fall, your progress when all seemed black, your rejoicing when you had finally achieved?

Like I said, Josephs book is everyday life, mundane, but so very important to me!

HE SENT EACH ONE OF US TO EARTH THROUGH BIRTH TO LIVE AND LEARN HERE IN FAMILIES

We're going to read from True to the Faith about marriage

In our heavenly Father's plan of happiness, a man and a woman can be sealed to one another for time and all eternity. Those who are sealed in the temple have the assurance that their relationship will continue forever if they are true to their covenants. They know that nothing, not even death, can permanently separate them.

After receiving the sealing ordinance and making sacred covenants in the temple, a couple must continue in faithfulness in order to receive the blessings of eternal marriage and exaltation.

I think sometimes we think we were sealed in the temple and that’s that, but as always we must remember the remain true and faithful part!

If you are single, prepare yourself carefully for marriage. Remember that there is no substitute for marrying in the temple. Prepare to marry the right person in the right place at the right time. Live worthy now of the kind of person you hope to marry. Date only those who have high standards and in whose company you can maintain your high standards. Look for a companion of your own faith. Look for someone you can always honor and respect, someone who will complement you in your life. Before you marry, be sure you have found someone to whom you can give your entire hearts, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty.

For those who do not marry, remain worthy, you will someday, in this life or the next, be given all the blessings of an eternal family relationship. The Lord has made this promise repeatedly through his latter-day prophets.

If you are single and desire to be married, do not give up hope. At the same time, do not allow yourself to become preoccupied with your goal, instead, become anxiously engaged in worthwhile activities. Look for ways to serve your extended family and in your community. Accept and magnify church callings. Keep yourself clean, both physically and spiritually. Continue to learn and develop and progress in your personal life.

Ok, once we are married the book also has some very sound advice for us.

If you are married, remember that the friendship and love between you and your spouse should be your most cherished earthly relationship. Your spouse is the only person other than the Lord whom you have been commanded to love with all your heart. (D&C 42:22)

Think of that! Does that color how important you view your marriage?

Remember that marriage, in its truest sense, is a partnership of equals, with neither person exercising dominion over the other, but each encouraging, comforting, and helping the other.

Because marriage is such an important relationship in life, it needs and deserves time. Do not give higher priority to less important commitments. Take time to talk together and to listen to one another. Be thoughtful and respectful. Express tender feelings and affection often.

Determine that nothing will eve come between you and your spouse to disrupt your marriage. Resolve to make your marriage succeed, in spite of challenges that may arise.

Be loyal to one another. Be faithful in your marriage covenants in thought, word and deed. Remember that the Lord has said, Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else. The phrase none else teaches that no person, activity, or possession should ever take precedence over your relationship with your spouse.

Stay away from anything that could lead you to be unfaithful in any way. Pornography, unwholesome fantasies, and flirtations will erode your character and strike at the foundation of your marriage.

Work together to manage your finanaces. Cooperate in establishing and following a budget. Discipline yourselves in your spending, and avoid the bondage of debt. Wise money management and freedom from debt contribute to peace in the home.

Center your lives in the gospel of Jesus Christ. Help one another keep the covenants you have made. Attend church and the temple together. Study the scriptures together. Kneel together in prayer at the beginning and end of each day to thank your Heavenly Father for one another and to unite in asking for His blessings on your lives, your home, your loved ones, and your righteous desires. God will then guide you, and your daily conversations with Him will bring the peace and joy that can come from no other source. Your companionship will sweeten through the years; your love will strengthen. Your appreciation for one another will grow.

If we read that everyday, do you think it would help us remain focused on just how special and important our marriages should be? We all get bogged down in the everyday things of life, we forget to focus on what's important, what is real. We have dinner, kids games, chores, work, toilets to scrub, family home evening to plan, homework, a million things of this life. Often many of these things are important, but our marriages are essential and using these teachings, reminding our selves each day of how it can and should be will focus us in a way that makes everything else fall into place.

There was a German theologian, his name was Dietrich Bonhoeffer, he was born in 1906. He was a prolific writer and most of his most famous writings were letter that a sympathetic guard helped him smuggle out of the concentration camp he was later executed in.

One letter was to his niece before her wedding, I want to read you part of it.

Marriage is more than your love for each other. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are linked in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to his glory, and calls in to his kingdom. In your love you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsibility towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal, it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man. So love comes from you, but marriage from above, from God.

Elder D Todd Christofferson teaches us

a family built on the marriage of a man and woman supplies the best setting for God's plan to thrive, the setting for the birth of children, who come in purity and innocence from God, and the environment for the learning and preparation they will need for a successful mortal life and eternal life in the world to come. A critical mass of families built on such marriages is vital for societies to survive and flourish. That is why communities and nations generally have encouraged and protected marriage and the family as privileged institutions. It has never been just about the love and happiness of adults.

The social science case for marriage and for families headed by a married man and woman is compelling. And so we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets. But our claims for the role of marriage and family rest not on social science ut on the truth that they are God's creation. It is He who in the beginning created Adam and Eve in His image, male and female, and joined them as husband and wife to become one flesh and to multiply and replenish the earth. Each individual carries the divine image, but it is in the matrimonial union of male and female as one that we attain perhaps the most complete meaning of our having been made in the image of God, male and female. Neither we nor any other mortal can alter this divine order of matrimony. It is not a human invention. Such marriage is indeed from above, from God, and is as much a part of the plan of happiness as the Fall and the Atonement.

We know that Satan rebelled against God's plan. We also can know how important marriage and families are based on how hard Satan works to destroy them. If marriage and family are not only eternal but the very basis for civilization is it any wonder that Satan needs to destroy it? How he must rejoice when marriages are destroyed or children abandoned. But it is also cause for him to rejoice when we don't teach our children and leave them to wander alone.

It is our duty and responsibility to teach our children, not only to tie their shoes, but to know their Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, to know the gospel and how to make good choices and to know how to find answers for themselves so that when they are on their own, they will have wings!

Book of Mormon parents would never have let their children enter a battle without a breastplate and shield. The gospel of Jesus Christ and personal revelation is the breastplate and shield of our children. Have we taught them to pray for things that truly matter?

A member of the 70 tells of being about 17 years old and when he arose from his prayers his mother who was standing in his doorway asked, are you asking the Lord to help you find a good wife? You should, it will be the most important decision you will ever make.

Have we taught our children that?

Do we teach our children to pray for the courage to remain morally clean? To pray to be obedient or to have courage to stand for the right? They will need this more and more.

Family prayers, scripture study, Family Home Evening shouldn't be routine, this is prime opportunity to teach your children the essential things of life, the things that will help them to know and remain close to God.

THIS IS HOW HE SHOWS HIS LOVE, FOR THE FAMILY IS OF GOD

Elder L Tom Perry in his last conference address told us

The entire theology of our restored gospel centers on families and on the new and everlasting covenant of marriage. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, we believe in a premortal life where we all lived as literal spirit children of God our Heavenly Father. We believe that we were, and still are, members of His family.

We believe that marriage and family ties can continue beyond the grave, that marriages performed by those who have the proper authority in His temples will continue to be valid in the world to come. Our marriage ceremonies eliminate the words till death do us part and instead say, for time and for all eternity.

We also believe that strong traditional families are not only the basic units of a stable society, a stable economy, and a stable culture of values, but that they are also the basic units of eternity and of the kingdom and government of God.

We believe that the organization and government of heaven will be built around families and extended families.

President Boyd K Packer says

The family is the center of the plan of salvation and perhaps why it is also called the great plan of happiness. The ultimate end of all activity in the church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home.

Sisters, not many of us come from a perfect home, often there are heart breaking stories. Our past, where we come from may influence who we are but it does not have to define us. We are all blessed with all that we need to build our families, our marriages. We were not put here to fail! There is help, there is hope. Heavenly Father wants us to succeed in this, our most important work. He will help us, he will show us how to do it, but he will never force us! He gave us agency in all things, so we have the power to choose. So choose to have a happy marriage, choose to teach your children righteous principles and how to be obedient to Heavenly Father, choose to let Him help you. Deciding and realizing that his ways are better then our ways is often difficult, but lets choose to do that.

Elder Russell M Nelsen tells us that Heavenly Father has but 2 desires for His children, immortality and eternal life, which means life with him back home.

That's it, just choose to come home and bring the family with you.