I had an old memory come to me the other day. We had gone to the lake as a family on a cool Sunday afternoon. We often went there after church with our arms full of stale bread or popcorn to feed the fish and the ducks. The lake has huge fish that swarm the docks and open wide their mouths as they leap for your offerings.

We had walked a ways out onto the dock and as usual kept reminding the children to stand back from the edge, don’t get too close! But my middle daughter got caught up in moment and I watched from several feet away as her small 5 year old body stepped off the dock and into the water. The swarm of fish quickly covered her head as she disappeared under them. I ran to the spot I saw her step off and fell onto my belly and reached into the dark water and swarm of fish and grabbed her hair to pull her out. She came out part way and then the weight of the fish above her pulled her back under. I reached down again, hanging off the side of the dock myself and managed to grab her hair again. I pulled until I could see her than with my other hand grabbed the shirt she was wearing and pulled her out of the water and into the arms of her father.

She was cold and getting colder by the second because of the cloudy day and the breeze, but she was coughing, breathing and fine. She was covered in fish kisses and had fish scales under her finger nails and she had lost her shoes, but she was fine. The dock was only a foot above the water and with the giant swarm of fish jumping in after her would not have been wise, I doubt I would have been able to find her. But down on my belly leaning far over I could reach into the water and grab her.

The trick to getting her out fast enough, before the fish pushed her farther down, was to react quickly. Run, grab, pull, pray, grab again, pull harder, what mother wouldn’t have done all that and more if they could save the life of a beloved child?

Children, no matter how old they are, will always be our children, our babies. When you see your child headed for danger what do you do? When they fall into dark waters, what do you do?

I have watched family do nothing, because they are adults, because we don’t want to offend them, because it’s none of our business, does that work? I’m not talking about interfering in their lives or running their lives, I’m talking about teaching, talking, helping and yes maybe even reaching into the dark water to grab them. Call it an intervention, call it a rescue, call it love.

That memory came to my mind at a time when one of my adult children was struggling. My body trembled with mama bear syndrome! I felt him slipping beneath the dark waters of his choices and I could not stand idly by. He was not communicating with me, but I still have his email, his phone number, I can text, I can write a good old fashioned letter, I basically told him that he cannot hide from me, I will never give up! I cannot make his decisions for him but I can help him to see the dangers and the pitfalls in them. I can help him to remember who he is and the people in his life that love and need him.

The key to being the mama bear, willing to rescue a child even from themselves, is that they must know from experience how much you love them. They must know that even when they are mad at you or don’t want you around that you will be there for them waiting for them with open arms just as soon as they are ready to come back. As a mom how could you do less? We may not always agree with our children’s choices but we will always love them. However if we could prevent them having great tragedy or unhappiness why wouldn’t we try?

I will reach into the dark waters. I will grab and pull and reach out and do all that I can to rescue my children. I will reach out again and again until there is no hope to help and to protect. I will teach and pray and set the example until the day I leave this earth. I am a mother, I love my children, I do not believe that my obligation to them stops at 18 years of age. I do not believe that family ends so why should our obligations end?

I will reach into the dark waters.