I was watching TV the other night and saw a commercial for a program about kids birthday parties. In less than 30 seconds I was absolutely disgusted! This program was about parents who were spending 10’s sometimes 100’s of 1000’s of dollars on their children's birthday parties. Not all of these people were very wealthy and most of the children were quite young, some children were having their first birthday!
The parties involved petting zoos and circus acts and various venues for rent. There were party planners and a huge decoration budget and a guest longer than most weddings. What in the world was happening to these people? Had they lost their minds completely?
As I thought about it I began to realize that these parties had very little to do with the kids themselves. Most of the kids were much too young to ever have a memory of these things. These parties were about one upping the other moms, about showing off how much more they could do for their own kids, about feeding a need the parents had. In the end, some parents were in debt or could barely pay off one party before the next grand event the next year, and the kids as they get older become increasingly entitled and spoiled and soon no party is ever big enough or grand enough.
Parents, get over yourselves and give your child the memories. Stop worrying about what other people do or spend on their kids and just have fun. Life is not a competition, it’s a journey, and your children will remember the simplest most lovely things if they are done with love.
So, some ideas and some things we have done for parties; first of all a simple party of presents, cake and ice cream with the extended family is always appropriate. Grandparents love to come and see the kids and watch the excitement of opening the gifts. Sometimes we have had dinner together, often not.
We also established the rule of every 4 years. Very young children will have no memory of the huge birthday party or the hundreds of people you invite, so as far as a formal birthday party with friends and invites and such we did those only every 4 years at 8 yrs, 12 yrs, 16 yrs and their choice of blow out party at 21 yrs. With more than one child in the house even this rule can really keep you hopping! At 8 they are old enough to really help you plan and prepare. They get really excited as you pull out something like the Oriental Trading catalog and look for ideas and projects for a party. This rule also lets you do a little more for a party than an every year party would allow on a tight budget.
Ok, Ideas coming up…….and the Oriental Trading company catalog has been VERY helpful for all of these!
Cowboy party – cowboy hats and bandannas for each child. Stick horse relay race. Simple plastic water guns for an old fashioned water shoot out (I filled a 5 gallon bucket with water for gun refills). Pin the gun on the cowboy. Dunking for apples. Cowboy hat shaped cake and ice cream cups.
Beach party – We have a lot of sand in our yard so this was really easy for us, simple pails and shovels for each child along with access to cookie cutters and forms and pans and with some wet sand you have a sand castle building contest. Colored sand to fill bottles for a colorful rainbow in a jar. Digging in the sand to find a variety of items listed on a paper for a great treasure hunt. Sand castle shaped cake!
Hawaiian party for our 8 year old daughter – crepe paper to make grass skirts, construction paper and straws and string to make lei’s. Flower shaped plastic ring boxes to paint and take home. Learning Hawaiian phrases for fun. Flower shaped cake!
For older kids – we had an above ground pool for a long time and when our boys turned 12 they had a great time planning a pool party. General swimming of course, add to that a net and a ball and you have a great game time. Home made sub sandwiches with all the chips and fixings and they make the party themselves!
Grilled pizza party – the fun of this party is the kids get to make their own pizza and they can cook it too, with a little supervision. You make or purchase pizza dough as usual, then arrange all kinds of toppings and sauces, some of the usuals but also some new things, use your imagination. Then hand each child a small amount of dough, enough to make a personal pizza, have them roll it out or stretch it out to the desired size and then throw that onto a hot gas or charcoal grill. When the bottom side is cooked, turn it face up onto a plate and let the child decorate his pizza as he likes. Then put the uncooked side back onto the grill and cook a few more minutes to finish cooking the dough and warm or melt the ingredients. The crust will have a nice flavor and crunch to it and the kids will have a great time making their own pizzas. You can continue to cook until they are full or they have used up the dough, then onto some fun games, pin the pepperoni on the pizza, relay games like dressing in an apron, oven mitts, chefs hat and doing kitchen tasks, removing those articles and passing them onto a team member to dress in. Cake and ice cream and tada!
We have an October birthday so naturally we had a Halloween party! – pumpkin carving or decorate your cupcake like a jack-o-lantern, raking leaves into a big pile and jumping into them to see who makes the biggest splash. Candy corn art, like macaroni art only sweeter. Big smiling pumpkin cake and you’re good to go
We’ve had a teach me to crochet party, a make a scrapbook party, a go to the reservoir and swim and have a picnic party, go to the mesa and have a firepit dinner and smores party, the ideas are endless! It’s pretty easy to take your childs interests or hobbies or love of adventure and roll it into a party that they will all enjoy.
Some words of caution! Just because you can or you feel like you should invite their entire class doesn’t mean you should. General rule of thumb is if your child is 8, invite no more than 8, kids get very overwhelmed and excited and too many people just means more of a chance of an ugly meltdown at the party.
Let the child help plan, its almost always more fun to anticipate than to just show up. Besides the kids have ideas of their own and its a great time to teach planning skills and patience and even budgeting in an easy fun way.
Plan for no more than 1 - 1 1/2 hours, especially for young kids, and no more than 3 activities. Things always take longer than you think they will and tired kids or kids that don’t get to complete everything get testy!
Be prepared for messes, have a plan of where you want activities to take place and cleaning supplies on hand. Cute napkins are fun but sometimes we really need a roll of paper towels. Don't have kids eating in your formal lovely dining room unless you’re ready to redo the floors and perhaps repaint soon.
Only invite kids your child is comfortable with. We all want our kids to be kind, or well liked, so encouraging them to branch out from their 2 favorite buddies is a good thing. However his birthday is not the time to invite the kid who calls him names or the family you’re trying to repay for an invite but he throws tantrums, etc. This is not the social event of the season, take a step back and breathe. A one on one play date would probably be much better for making a new friend or solving an issue or reaching out to the new kid on the block. sometimes a party is just too much pressure for the kids.
Watch out for your budget! Even the best of us with all the best intentions get sucked into the black hole of…..ooooo this would be fun…..oh how cute is that…….we have got to have 6 of those! Seriously, my grown kids remember most fondly the parties we had on the smallest budgets. Kids parties are much more fun with imagination than money.
So go have a party! Go have a budget friendly, kid involved and happy, sensible party that will be talked about around your kitchen table for years to come. I promise you can do it! After all I threw a wedding reception with all the bells and whistles for $400! But that’s another story.