I'm a very private person. I tend to keep things to myself, deal with life on my own. If the sky was falling and the ground covered in lava, I probably wouldn't ask for help, let alone talk to someone about my feelings (shudder). If I can't make it on my own, than what's the point? I know it's a pride issue. I freely admit that I hate asking for stuff, or talking about my feelings, because I honestly don't like the taste of humble pie. Too sour....or whatever.

I think it takes a certain amount of strength to admit you need help. And a great deal more to ask for it. And as long as we're being honest, I've never been the strongest person. I'm pretty sure I bypassed that boat entirely. But in quiet moments, and a private place, I do find a way to ask for help whether I think I need it or not. Yes, I'm talking about prayer. Seeing as how today is Sunday, it was on my mind....more than usual. When I'm alone and talking to my Heavenly Father I can tell him anything. I lay down everything I'm feeling, my fears, worries, triumphs and blessings. I can ask Him to help me with whatever problem I'm facing. It's easy in a way because He already knows. And I know, it takes some humility to pray and ask God for help, but in my mind it's different. Kinda like how I hate all things seafood, but I eat tunafish sandwiches. Tuna isn't seafood. It's called "chicken of the sea" for a reason. But I digress.

A long time ago, I found another way to "express myself". A way to say what I was feeling without having to actually tell someone, face to face, and thereby avoid that humble pie. Again, pride issue, but try to bear with me. I began writing poems and stories at a very young age. I never kept any of them because, let's continue being honest here, they weren't very good. But I found it was the perfect outlet for everything I normally kept locked up in the "vault". As the years went by and school taught me more about the intricate workings of the english language, I gradually got better and started keeping a notebook of finished poems, and saving whatever stories I started. A way to look back and see how far I'd come I suppose. It was probably my round-about way of keeping a journal....in verse.

The day soon came when a friend of mine, and then room mate, came across my notebook of poems. It was the first time anyone had seen them and I may have panicked. The thought that people might actually read my work one day, had never crossed my mind. I never planned for that, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Luckily, she liked what I wrote and my pride was kept in tact. A series of events soon led to me writing poems, songs, and stories for different occasions, mostly at the request of family. My "outlet" became rather more public than I was comfortable with. But as the great whoever once said, if you're living your life in a comfort zone, you're not really living your life. Or something to that effect.

So here on this site is yet another place to spread the fame of my awesomeness, and bless your lives with some of my writings. Again, this is my pride at work, but here I think it is well placed, especially since this is way out of my comfort zone. I leave you then with one of my earlier works. I rarely give my poems titles, but I think in this case we'll call it, Prayer.

Enjoy your peak into my mind!

Upon thy grace, Lord I rely.
Be my strength, be my guide.
Bless my eyes that I may see,
Thy hand forever guiding me.

Hear me when I call thy name.
Lead me back when'er I stray.
Wrap thy arm around me tight.
Be my shepherd, be my light.

Wipe my tears with thy soft hand.
Help me to forever stand
Upon the straight and narrow way.
Forever in thy love to stay.

Catch me when I fall, dear Lord.
Fill my soul with thy great word.
Calm my heart with thy kind gaze,
On thy right hand, keep my place.

And if I stumble, Lord I plea,
To feel thy strength uplifting me.
Forever, will I sing thy praise
As thou, my spirit gently raise.