The most amazing things happen in life, the sun always rises, your terrible cold goes away, spring arrives all of a sudden, trees bud out over night, you marry your best friend and you live with him for 30 years and are happy! But the most amazing thing is waking up one day to find your children are or are becoming adults.

There are obvious signs for some kids, marriage, having kids of their own, jobs, bills, owning health insurance. But I have to admit that when you have a child that doesnt follow the “normal” pattern sometimes it’s easy to over look how well they are doing or that they are growing up quite well.

My oldest daughter, Jessica is such a child. I have to admit to crying many tears over her. I think she is the most like me, and yet she is the one I have the hardest time getting to know or building a relationship with. She’s a very private person, she can be supremely confident and horribly vulnerable all at the same time. She is a lot like her dad in that she doesn’t speak unless she really has something to say. She’s quiet and loud and soft and hard shelled. She has to be in just the right mood to talk or share a part of herself. She has been living just outside of the rest of us and yet is right in the center of us all. So in my effort to be a part of her life and try to know who she is becoming sometimes I miss who she is now.

She’s 25 years old, she’s sweet, she’s funny, she knows how to take care of herself, she knows how to stand up for herself. She knows how to plan, she knows what she wants. She is a very gifted writer with all kinds of possibilities and she has used that gift to show her love to her family. She is a great friend, she is great with her nieces and loves taking care of them and I believe that she will make a wonderful mother. She is making good choices with her life and will be blessed for those choices. She’s not afraid of the next great adventure in her life, I envy her that.

There are a couple things she’s not so good at, if her car needs work she puts her head in the sand and hopes it will be ok, if she’s not comfortable talking about something, she will not acknowledge it to the point of pretending that thing does not exist, she often wont ask for help until its too late to help her.

I have come to appreciate in the last few months that she is a very fine adult, she has a pretty good idea of who she is and who she wants to be. I have to watch and observe to find these things out, she doesnt come out and tell you. I will always be her mother, I will always worry and ask questions and hope for things for her that maybe she doesn’t hope for herself, but I am so grateful to be her mother and see the beautiful adult she is becoming.

In the last few weeks we have shared some special experiences, some sacred experiences. I will cherish those memories and I hope to be a part of many more of them in her life. She’s about ready to move on in a new direction and I wish the very best for her. I hope she shares her life and experiences, I hope she has a family of her own and can pass on the great lessons she has learned. I hope she has joy.