I was watching in interview the other day about an American woman who has lived in France for 5 years and is raising her children there. She had written a book about the French way of parenting. Now I have to say that I was very close to tuning out, because everyone thinks they have all the answers to parenting or that every other culture is better than the one they know. However I listened, you never know when you might learn something.

So in a nutshell the theory is; the French build a frame work of absolute rules in which they raise their children. Inside the frame there is absolute freedom, but you do not shatter the frame. Children are taught to be polite, respectful, to eat their vegetables, to sleep through the night. When they are told no, it is explained to them why, but not excused or in a way that allows the children to believe that much whining will produce their desired outcome.

When you think about it, this makes perfect sense! All children should be raised within a frame work of absolute rules. Rules that allow growth, respect, kindness, family ties and bonds, values and a sound moral code are an excellent place to start. Then within that frame work children learn to make choices, to become productive individuals as well as a greater part of family and community. These children would have good parents who understood that to be a good parent you are not your childs friend. To be a good parent you have to be willing to be unpopular sometimes, you have to be willing and able to stand your ground.

It is the childs job to push against his boundaries, it is a parents job to keep the boundaries in place, widening the circle as the child grows. This makes our kids feel safe, gives them confidence, allows them to grow and learn and become the people we hope for them to become. Being your kids friend, allowing them to rule the roost may seem easier, may seem to make your relationship better with them, but you end up fooling yourself.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world!!! Being a good parent is even harder. There are no pats on the back, no paychecks, and often very ungrateful teenagers! However when you spend the day with your kids, having fun, talking, laughing, watching the amazing people they are becoming, you are grateful you toed the line. So remember, be French! Set the frame work, be willing to do the work, be willing to love with all your heart. The will love you for it in the end.