I have been married to the love of my life for almost 30 years. Before we married I received 3 love letters, wonderful letters that made me cry and love him more every time I read them. He bared his heart to me in those letters and they meant the world to me. He didn’t just buy a card and sign it, he wrote from his heart. I knew from that moment that he had the soul of a poet and that he could melt my heart and fill it up with love all at the same time.

Well time went on, children came, he showed me in a million ways how much he loved me. I’ve written before about how much I love that he holds my hand whenever we are together. But every birthday and Christmas I have truly asked for only one thing, a love letter. I think he meant to write one a time or two, I also think he thought I was kidding. I also know that at his core he is a very shy man. So this year I turned 50, yep 50. It’s the first time I’ve really had a hard time with a birthday and I told my Adam that I needed a little boost for my birthday and this boost was to be a letter. I remembered years of learning to communicate and told him sincerely and honestly that I needed a love letter so that I could have a tangible thing to read when I was feeling old and having a hard time adjusting to my mortality. I didn’t need a long letter, I didn’t need poetry, I just needed to hear his heart.

I had told some family members of my request so Adam took some ribbing over the letter, people reminding him and such. I have to admit that after all these years I was afraid that my request would again go unheeded, I was afraid that my feelings would be hurt because I had put a lot of stock into receiving this letter. But bless his heart he came through!!!

My birthday arrived, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that it was just another day, nothing had radically changed from the day before. I went to our office and began my day, and just as Adam was leaving for his first service call he placed the letter on my desk and wished me happy birthday. Then my shy man scooted out the door as quick as he could.

I won’t print the letter here, although I may someday, lets just say that in 6 sentences he told me everything I needed to know. I felt loved and treasured and reassured about our marriage and our life together. I cried, I smiled, i have reread it dozens of times in the last week, I have told all the family that mission was accomplished! I was so grateful that he listened, that he understood that I needed a little extra love this birthday. I was so happy to hear that all the ways I felt about him were  returned, and that we have lots of and life ahead of us.

The side benefit of these letters has been interesting. I have never been one to understand or desire a vow renewal or remarriage ceremony of any kind, but I think all those tender feelings being expressed has had the same effect. It’s a bit of a honeymoon period yet again, we feel closer to each other, more romantic, more connected, yup we feel all mushy! I didn’t expect that, it’s a very cool side effect. It’s also very wonderful to know that after all these years we can feel like the 20 somethings that fell in love but have a much deeper relationship because of years and history.

So, although I have always loved love letters, and desired to have them, I must admit that I may not have understood the power of them. Written expressions of love, heartfelt and sincere, honest feelings being shared is a powerful tool to build and build upon a great relationship. So write it down, share it, let them people you love know it.