Do you ever have a day, a week, when you just don’t feel like you’re worth much? A time in your life where for whatever reason you wonder, do I contribute to the world? If I disappeared would anyone notice? Have I done anything that would make a difference in my family, in the world? Have I reached my potential? Do I have true meaning in my life?

I was watching TV the other night and it was a documentary about using dogs to help with recovery and therapy especially for kids. This woman had a beloved dog and had contact with a group that provided this service and through a series of events began her own foundation to help kids in hospitals. She talked about all the schooling she had had and the success she had had in business for 25 years, but that she had never felt like she knew what she wanted to do when she grew up. She had never felt like she had found her “calling”. She had a great life but wondered if this was all there was. So fast forward to her foundation and her work with these dogs and their owners and the kids they serve and she said she had finally discovered what she wanted to do when she grew up. She had found purpose, happiness, contentment, all things through this service and her foundation. Her life had meaning she had never felt before.

So, I’ve been pondering, I’m going to be 50 this year, what do I want to do when I grow up ? Who do I want to be? I have always been a daughter, sister, wife, a mother and now a grandmother. I know how to love my family, although I make my share of mistakes. I know how to cook a good meal. I have strong opinions on child rearing and family life. I have worked side by side with my husband in our business for the last 10 years, taking me out of the home and completely out of my comfort zone. I can make jam, bake bread, garden, can and preserve, I can make quilts the old fashioned way my grandmother taught me. I can sew, crochet, write a little bit, I’m a fairly good listener and I have a healthy dose of common sense. I love fiercely, have little tolerance for stupidity and I love quiet evenings with nothing to do.

But are these things all that I am? Are these things who I am? Do these things matter? If I died tomorrow my immediate family would mourn, I hope, but would it matter? Would it make a hole in the world? Am I living a life that makes a difference, that makes the world better than it was when I got here?

So I’ve had an idea…….Often we are not good at judging ourselves, we are often too easy or too hard on ourselves. So how about we encourage each other along. What if for a birthday, an anniversary, Christmas or even just because, we write a letter, a note, a sentence even to someone we know and love and tell them all the positive things we love about them. Tell them how they make the family, the world, the neighborhood better just for being there. Tell them things you have noticed that they may not see themselves. Tell them things that they can take out and look at and reflect upon and be comforted by, on those days that they are having a hard time seeing it themselves. Give them a pat on the back, a sense of who they are in your life, of what they mean to you.

We all get the criticisms, the judging, the hurt feelings, how about we take these people we love and help them to grow, to become, to feel good. Imagine how well a garden grows with water and sun and fertilizer. Now imagine how great the people you love could grow if they had the same kind of attention. Remember that a harsh word will be remembered forever, but somehow kind words are quickly forgotten, so don’t be afraid to encourage and remind often. Presents get used, lost, worn out, thrown out, but kind words, loving words are never too old or too short or not the right size. So get out the pens, pencils, email, whatever, and give your loved ones a gift they can carry with them forever.