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Marry your best friend

I’m a big fan of marrying your best friend. People talk about it all the time but I’m not sure how many people really do it or understand it. Your best friend should be the first person you think about when something funny happens and you’ve just got to tell someone. Your best friend should be the person you can talk to about anything or nothing, the person who giggles with you when you do something embarrassing, the person who understands that sometimes you cry for nothing but you still need a hug.

Best friend is an over used phrase, but when it happens to you, you’re very lucky!

Emma and Kevin recently got married. He’s been in love with her since the 7th grade, she however had very firm ideas about what he had to do and who he had to be before she gave her heart. Over the years as they grew and matured, because of her firm stance of not becoming his girlfriend, they had time to become best friends, 9 almost 10 years of growing, laughing, learning, maturing, talking about everything, sharing memories, learning to trust, becoming real friends.

He’s not afraid of noisy bodily functions around her, he knows she will roll her eyes and then laugh. She’s not afraid to cry or ask hard questions around him or of him, she knows he will be there. They spent 2 of those years apart while he served a mission and the letters were another part of learning to know each other in a different way. A lot of us use the term “meant to be”, but these two are just that. IMG_4200 Emma has Tourettes Syndrome, it manifests itself most prominently in repetitive motions. Sometimes that means she just has to skip! I love this picture because Emma started skipping and Kevin immediately skipped along with her. He didn’t ask what she was doing, look at her funny, or even hesitate, he just skipped.

Sometimes Emma will play with the tendons in her hands until they swell and her hand becomes quite painful. Kevin see’s it and just holds her hand, it calms her and helps her to stop. He never questions her, he knows what she needs and gives her a safe place to do it. For instance, a few years ago, although a lot of people knew about Emma’s tourettes she still worked very hard to control the worst of it so she wouldn’t freak out the people around her. One time when they were at Kevins home at a family gathering Kevin could tell that Emma needed to tic very badly and was becoming quite stressed at trying to control it. He casually asked her to come out of the room with him with a very plausible excuse. He took her to a room with no one in it, stood guard at the door and told her to just do what she needed to do and he would make sure no one saw. She ticked until she felt better and then thanked him and they rejoined the party. When she told me this story, I loved Kevin! He knew her, he knew what she needed, he protected her and made her feel safe. What more could I ask for my girl?

Then on the wedding day as I followed them around while they were having pictures taken, I saw him without a thought, carry her dress around so it wouldn’t get dirty or stained.IMG_5978  What a guy!

So again I say, marry your best friend! But make sure you know what that means, make sure you are his best friend too, and make sure you keep and cherish that friendship because on the hardest days of a marriage it will be the friendship that gets you through.